“Be the bigger person”. “Take the high road”. Forgive and forget”. “Let it go and move on”. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. “Love those who are the most unlovable; they need it the most”.
If we’ve heard them once, we’ve heard them a thousand times. Often, we’d like to believe and suggest that our haters have no effect on us, or better yet, they propel us forward but the reality is that sometimes their actions and words wound us, leaving us hurt, perplexed, debilitated, even; because sometimes, our haters turn out to be the ones closest to us.
How do you deal with that? When the ones you thought you’d be celebrating with are the ones you can’t share with for fear of sabotage. Or when the ones you thought would be your biggest fans turned out to be part of the force holding you back. Or when the ones you thought would be by your side leave you in hopes that you’ll fail and run back into their arms, denying your worth and securing their necessity. Or when the ears that were supposed to be confidential turned out to be a mouth whose signboard vocalizes all your failures. Or when the ones who once announced your achievements become the loudest bidders for your failure. Or when the ones who you unselfishly lent a shoulder to are nowhere to be found when it comes time to bear your burdens. Or when the hand you thought you’d be holding is the one you found on the dagger in your back. When the ones you’ve loved so purely with no expectation of return surprise you with the gift of hate, how do you respond?
I’d say that you have three choices: apathy, hate, or love.
The thing about apathy is that it never gives you the space to fully resolve the issues created, leaving you to carry wounds with no hope of healing.
The thing about hate is that it never makes things better and often hurts innocent others.
The only choice that enables you to leave things better than you’ve found them is love.
It’s love that will heal. It’s love that enables you to move forward. It’s love that gives you new hope. It’s love that breaks chains. It’s love that will make you laugh until you have no breath. It’s love that will help you trust again. It’s love that frees you to fly. It’s love that settles and establishes your heart. It’s love that spurs you to love again.
So love. With all your heart.
Don’t spend more time than necessary dwelling on the hate you’ve been given. Instead consider the love you’ve been given. It’s this love that will cause you to bloom, over and over again.
If we were honest, we’d acknowledge that being a frequent traveler on the high road takes a toll because the journey up takes a lot more energy and intentional effort. I hope you will realize that the rewards are greater too.
It feels good when you encounter your haters again and you’re able to say that what they put you through just made you stronger, wiser, and better. It feels good when you can say that it was all for your benefit, and any damage they thought they did just cleared the grounds for new development in your life. These views and results only come by the journey on the high road. So, if you haven’t begun your journey, start today.
I promise it’s worth it, not just because of the views and their results but also because of the journey. The view gives you new vision and direction. The journey gives you renewed inner strength and experience that naturally lead you to a better place-spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Perhaps along the way, you’ll be able to garner enough courage, strength, peace, compassion, wisdom, and empathy, if not sympathy, to invite your haters to a trip on the higher road. If it’s not today, that’s okay. It’s a process! Promise me though, that you’ll try again tomorrow. In the end, we’re all humans in need of a little more love. That saying, “what goes around comes around”: it’s true. It goes for your haters but it also goes for you too. Live your love out loud.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that”
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
From a Heart Full of Love,
Sarah
Sarah Paige is a microbiologist, amateur writer, and plant mom, born and bred in Winston-Salem, NC. Her favorite titles include daughter, sister, and auntie. Get connected at spaig88@gmail.com.
