Through the years, I have had the grand privilege to have several “haters”. The thing about people is – hurt people, hurt people and computer screens have given us the easy option for mitigated interaction with large potential for impact. In short, it’s a breeding ground to give a platform to those who may not feel heard.
Being a bold southern woman, it has put a target on my back from time to time. From being accused of wanting people’s husbands, simply because I am a single woman to old men telling me construction is a “man’s world”. The truth is it also means relevance and that our platform is making waves. There is an article by Bill Taylor called “Do You Pass the Leadership Test?”, in that article he states “The true mark of a leader is the willingness to stick with a bold course of action — an unconventional business strategy, a unique product-development roadmap, a controversial marketing campaign — even as the rest of the world wonders why you’re not marching in step with the status quo. In other words, real leaders are happy to zig while others zag. They understand that in an era of hyper-competition and non-stop disruption, the only way to stand out from the crowd is to stand for something special.” Haters are a sign that it’s working. An inevitable toll you pay for being someone in the public eye.
If you look closely haters will teach you, the critics shed a prospective that is usually a source of weakness or a blind spot, to some degree. Although the prospective are often misinformed or misguided, it gives you the opportunity to see what negative outsiders see. If you set your ego aside, you’re able to gain a lot of knowledge and work on the perception of your brand. I like to use them as a tool to improve.
Just yesterday, I had a woman bash my business online. Long story short, we had built a gate for her and I had no clue she was this angry. When I saw her blasting my business, I immediately messaged her. This is an excerpt from our conversation: “Or if you still need anything else, I’m happy to do that instead. Just trying to be a person with you. I am a single mom who works my butt off to try and provide for a family, build a business, and run a nonprofit. I am truly doing my best, I’m sorry it wasn’t good enough. I absolutely am not perfect. But I’m embarrassed to say you’re very right. I should have addressed the cost on the front end and given you the option. I was coming from a place of “oh she mentioned she was trying to get it safe for the dogs and kids as cost effectively as possible.” I never meant for this to happen.” At the end of the conversation, I was able to learn something and although she wasn’t willing to forgive me – I do feel I am doing my very best and I absolutely couldn’t do it without people like her. I would encourage you to be bold – talk to your haters, try to meet understanding, be willing to accept that maybe you aren’t in the right, and if you find you are, sometimes it’s better to be kind than right.
